"Yes, we have met a hundred times... But as strangers"~Shri
FACADE
"Death made its second visit to that house.Perhaps it liked being in that house.The front gate was wide open and a counted few declared their mourning.Shaaji appeared as if he has gone for an unwakable sleep.Quiet,peace and serene.The home had its authentic decor-like the one done in Polynesian style.A samoan styled circular top with wooded roofing and grass outside.There was where Shajji slept peacefully during his days in the earthly world.Now its going to be a permanent departure.Shajji's soulmate or that's how he thought in his cranny head.-Renita aka Reni.Reni passed away a couple of years back.That was death's first visit.Aunty and uncle were broken to their root and Shajji succumbed to depression.I heard Ram saying that Shajji didn't eat for nearly 2 weeks not even water.And there's where the facade began.
Ram didn't even think twice to fly all the way from Paris for Shajji's funeral.He was very close to him.Or may he had the guilt of reason behind Reni's death.It could be neither too.But that's where all the facade began.Since then,Ram as always was responsible but he became too far from being lovable.We have had arguments,discussions and quite a lot of cuddling too.But,Ram is still far.We even discussed his relationship with Reni and how they parted ways.I thought the chapter was closed and Ram is such a one to cut the solution to binary.So it was all clear.But since Shaaji's arrival and Ram's bonding with him, Ram isn't the old one.It was all a facade and it still startles me.
Ram and I dated for good two years.We literally finish each other's sentences.My mom is like his own and I am my in-law's daughter.Though appears Utopian,we had a perfect relationship.When I see my friends getting separated ,I have always believed that things in relationship were solvable when you tune with open conversation.Because ours was such.But now,little by little we are getting untuned.It can't be put in words .We have met a thousand times but now we are meeting as strangers in our relationship.This untold and unseen nature of Ram is not bearable.I can see him going through the grief and his need of support.But why don't he confide on me? Sometimes its better to be told that one is loved than to express in action.Ram has stopped doing that but yet doesn't stop surprising me with moments.Somewhere a cold wall separates us.
Shiv,I hope you understand that Ram may not be aware that I am struggling with all these thoughts.I even thought of visiting Dr.Priya our psychiatrist and his class mate.But I believe that I better share with a known person before consulting a doctor.Is it my own thought that Ram isn't doing enough or am I co-relating unnecessary coincidences.This need to be sorted before out of reach Shiv.I hope you understand".
Shruti completed the handwritten letter and looked for the nearest post office to be sent to Shiv.
Paris is a beautiful city and had an admirable art and culture.When he first wrote his book titled "Shrutified",Ram described a lot about Paris.He was then living there.As he moved to India and settled with Shruti,life was a pleasant exercise.And he maintained it well.In the recent days, post his 33rd birthday,Ram had a lookback on the journey and it was an awakening.His precious gifts Shruthi and his mom held his back hiding their suffering.An easy give and take relationship had become a "take and utilise" relationship".Lost in the thought of the guilt of chauvnist,Ram made a wall and decided to be independent.Very less or nothing was expected from his partner.The thought of "Individualism" took over and the common space was shrinking under his feet.That ain't a facade but a phase of love losing its ability of expression.
Ram returned from office and his face held that smile of peace.A calm dinner was followed by a chess game.Both were silent and Ram's face still had that smile.Shruti was wondering whether Shiv had told Ram about the thoughts running in her mind.The night was silent wondering who shall the be the first to break this silence.
"Beach ride?" Ram asked.
"Today? Not the weekend.You need to wake up early right?" Shruti knit the rope of choice.
"May be we have been meeting a lot , but feeling as strangers" Ram quoted the words written by Shruti in Shiv's letter.
"So you know?"
"Yup.I also know that its not a facade but a phase.Should have talked earlier.A bit disappointed that it came through Shiv" said Ram
"Whom should I talk to? Ram doesn't need to be disturbed and Shiv is the only person left" sulked Shruti
"Ok Mrs.Shruti ShivRam.Let's go to the beach.I shall drive"
"Right.Get me an ice cream Mr.Shiv Ram " said she and the facade broke.
"Fine.Just wrote a letter and a poem.Do you want to read now or later?"
"Now.." smiled Shruti.
No comments:
Post a Comment