VOICE WITHIN-3.The Suffer mystic

                                                                                                                                                                                    The search continues...One can always take life in two ways.Wait for the surprises it brings on or question yourself  with "what initiates this surprise?".The very own human mentality for desire keeps it under control.Some prefer to stay alone and just listen to what life does.Am one of that  kind.With enough knowledge to keep my fellow beings pestered,I stand now in a row between science and religion.Though the persons who are considered to be the "glorious grace of God",say that both the genre lead to the same, I consider myself exploring the answer in my own way.Obviously the objective of both is the same ,"What really creates this Universe and does the so called enlightment is real?"For the journey to begin in a rugged way one should and be attached to no emotional bondage.

Why do you suffer?

For the people who say that "I am entirely happy and have no suffering..",how you define the state of happiness.Is that you really are happy or is it the state of mind that convince you to act happily or sadly..Think.

The truth is that waking up can be a disturbing process. Who really wants to find out that everything they thought was real was nothing but a pocket full of dreams? Who wants to find out that everything they hold onto and cling to is the very reason that they suffer? Who really wants to find out that we’re all addicted to qualities like approval, recognition, control, and power, and that none of these things actually brings an end to suffering? In fact, they’re the cause of suffering! So the truth is that most of us don’t really want to wake up. We don’t really want to end suffering. What we really want to do is manage our suffering, to have a little bit less of it, so that we can just go on with our lives as they are, unchanged, the way we want to live them, maybe feeling a little better about them.

So waking up is a bit like what an alcoholic or a drug addict experiences when they are coming out of their addiction. Most addicts only let go of their addiction when they’ve really seen that there’s no possibility of being happy and being an addict. Up until that time, most addicts are in a constant process of negotiation with life. They think, “Well, I can be an addict some of the time,” or, “I can be a little bit of an addict, but not a lot of an addict,” or, “I can quit whenever I really want to.” They try to moderate their urges—but in between it all, their urges still have the upper hand and spiral them into suffering. So when does an addict actually stop? They tend to quit when they hit bottom, when they’ve seen the wisdom of absolutely no escape, that nothing’s going to work except facing themselves and their situation where they are.

On the better side of thought:

For a lot of us, we can look at others who seem to be struggling and say, “Well, at least I’m not an addict. I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t abuse drugs.” But truthfully almost all of us are addicts and the deepest thing we’re addicted to, our drug of choice, is actually suffering. The very thing we want to be without is the thing we’re addicted to, and that’s suffering. Not many people will admit it. Not many people even want to know that they’re addicted to suffering, but when you look at it very sincerely, you’ll see that many of us have no idea how to live life without suffering. We have no idea how to interact, how to be, what to do with our time and energy if we weren’t suffering.

 As I’ve mentioned, there is a piece of us that wants to suffer because it is through suffering that we maintain this wall of separation around us. It is through our suffering that we can continue to hold onto everything we think is true. Wearing the veil of suffering, we don’t really have to look at ourselves and say, “I’m the one that’s dreaming. I’m the one that’s full of illusions. I’m the one that’s holding on with everything I have.” It’s much easier to see that the other person is caught in illusion. That’s easy. “So and so over there, they’re completely lost in illusion. They don’t know the truth.” It’s a whole other thing to say, “No, no, no! I’m the one who is caught in illusion. I don’t know what’s real, I don’t know what’s true, and part of me actually wants to suffer because then I can remain separate and distinct.”

Certainly, on a conscious level, no one wants to suffer, yet we continue to hold onto our ideas, thoughts, and beliefs as if our lives depended upon them. In a certain way, our lives do depend on them—not our true lives, but the lives of our egos, the lives of who we think we are. The way we want to see ourselves depends on them. That part of ourself that wants to see itself as separate doesn’t really want to merge back with the source, but would rather pay the price and stand up as a separate being, no matter what the cost, and assert its views upon the world.

SUFFERING IS ENTIRELY OPTIONAL:

What I am talking about here isn’t the kind of self-examination that we’re used to. People in the spiritual world are often busy meditating, chanting the name of God, and doing various spiritual practices and prayers as a means of trying to bring happiness to themselves or to garner God’s grace. Spiritual people often listen to the teachings of the great awakened ones and try to apply them, but they often miss the key element, and that is: We’re addicted to being ourselves. We’re addicted to our own self-centeredness. We’re addicted to our suffering. We’re addicted to our beliefs and our worldview. We really think that the universe would collapse if we relinquished our part in it. In this way, we actually want to continue suffering.

I am(was) an addict:

Most addicts come up with a whole variety of reasons why they’re addicted, and some of those reasons may be very valid and have some truth to them. But ultimately, at the end of the day, when we’re addicted to something, anything, it’s because we choose to be. We might blame it on something else, on somebody else, on certain circumstances in our lives—and of course painful moments in our lives might have something to do with our suffering and with the things to which we’re addicted. But when it comes to here and now in this moment, the truth is we’re not in the past anymore. The truth is that whatever happened, happened. It’s past tense, and there’s something in us that tends to want to hold onto it, to grasp onto it, mostly because we’re terrified to let go of the very things that make us suffer, because if we let go of the past, we wouldn’t know who we are anymore. We wouldn’t be able to clothe ourselves in the past. We wouldn’t be able to feel sorry for ourselves. We would stand in this moment, and this moment only, and we would face ourselves without judgment, shame, or guilt...

 No longer the old "me" exist:-

I knew my life had completely changed, and the orientation that I’d thought my life was based upon was no longer relevant. Something completely new had woken up in my life, and I knew it was going to be about something entirely different than what I had planned on. It was then that I started upon what’s called “the search” and like most other seekers, I eventually found myself a teacher, and I started searching.Voice still continue and the search has began....

VOICE WITHIN-2.The Search

"I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my Soul." -Rumi

...........The battle continues.And eventually I've found my place of existence.Some call it  the "state of emptiness" and some call it "the world that doesn't exist"...I call it the world that nobody has given a second thought to think about...Silence is golden.Sometimes its better to travel. And travel alone.Only then you realise what is the best part you've been missing so far...My journey still continues and each day I seek some new stuff..May be the reality can be otherwise,but now you get free from all bondage. So with no talking with friends,no mobile phone and no external partying I decide now to travel along my way.And as saying goes "The road has always lead to the west"...Now the so far journey in precise...

The one common thing about any true revelation is that it will stun our mind, because at that moment, we comprehend something that’s not just in thought. Revelation and insight come from somewhere else, from some other space. They come from a place that we as a culture seem to have so little respect for—a place called “silence.” What’s more neglected in our lives than silence? What do we run away from more than silence? Many of us would rather cling to our ideas, our beliefs, and our opinions—the very things that distance us from truth and reality and life—than to experience this silence. We spend so much energy running away from silence, but silence is the ground from which awakening springs. It’s the ground from which we shift out of this egoic state of consciousness, out of this belief in separation. After all, separation is ultimately just a belief. It’s a story made up in our minds.

I’m not saying that we have to try to become quiet, that we have to practice stillness. If you really want to become quiet and still, simply allow yourself to see that all of the thoughts in your head are just stories. They’re not good or bad stories. They’re not right or wrong. Our mind is a storyteller—and it keeps us removed from the silence, the quiet, that is always present. Often, our minds are really good storytellers—and other times really poor storytellers—but ultimately, the mind just tells stories. And a story isn’t real; it isn’t actually true.

Silence is something that disarms us, which is why we move away from it so often. Our society is one in which we’re more and more preoccupied with noise. Last week, I was driving down the highway, and I looked over and saw a group of high school kids walking home from school. They all had cell phones. There were seven or eight of them, and every single one of them was either talking on their phone or texting. No one was interacting with the people or the environment around them. I thought, “This is crazy! Here’s this group of people walking home together, but not actually connecting.”

We’ve gotten to a point where we’re so intimidated by silence and the present moment before us that even when we’re together we try our best to make sure that we’re very busy. We’re physically together without actually being together! We’ll walk home together, but we’ll talk to somebody else. We’re doubly occupied, just to make sure there’s no real silence, no real communion. This isn’t a bad thing. I’m not even saying it shouldn’t happen. I’m just saying that if we look at the world around us, we see that we are conditioned to not listen deeply. Because isn’t that what silence is? It’s a listening. It’s a deep, wordless listening. As one wise Christian mystic said, “Stop telling God what you want, and instead listen to what God has to say to you.” That’s a very wise thing to say, and it comes from a basic insight into how our minds incessantly assert themselves, which ultimately is just another form of struggle.

So there are all these various ways that we struggle with ourselves and our experiences, trying to control life and those around us. The ways that we struggle keep us locked and confined within the prison of the ego. When we begin to see that our mind is just a storyteller, however, then we begin to listen—not for more thoughts or more complicated understandings, but for the silence. It is when you listen in this way that you can see that it is only your mind that has the capacity to make you suffer. Only your mind has the capacity to convince you to struggle. Only your mind, nothing else. It’s all an inside job. It’s all happening inside you...Search still continues...

VOICE WITHIN-1.The beginning

"It is said that Wisdom comes with age,but with openness and scepticism,the key principles of the scientific method,we don't need decades of trial and error to sort out,which of our convictions may be improbable.The question is not whether our beliefs are right or wrong,but whether or not being emotionally attached to them is more or less likely going to benefit us.The moment we are self aware enough to realise this,we can truly work together to figure out the  odds..."

The following posts named under the title"VOICE WITHIN"-can be considered either as a work of genius willing to show-off or as bunch of shit crapped out from the "cerebro" of a sleep deprived person.Its up to the reader to decide with the further reading of the article.

LIFE THEN BE A DREAM....

                   "Merry making men drink.You don't?",asked my surprised colleague on a b'day party."No,sir.I seek nothing out of it.What do you get by  gulping a bottle of ethyl alcohol?You facilitate your "rebounds" in REM by disturbing every other single person around you."-my additional response brought a look of grin on his face.

                   "No offence,sorry sir.I seek the same merry as you do and in every manner disturbing every single being just like you.But I do it in a different way."I said.To Chris-cross cross his puzzled face I said," I mean,I sing with my hoarse voice,and that's more of merry and a little of hell for me and other people around".Witty reply but not a single person laughed(!).Headed out from party at 11:30 p.m, I started driving my bike.From then on the dream continues.

Third World war:

                                Thanks  to Vairamuthu sir for the title belongs to your book.

The smell of blood clustering with rattle noises was heard.I could say that for sure,somewhere a heavy damage was happening to the better side of the society.The roads were unusually deserted.No stray dogs,no happy street strangers were seen.Unusual situation.Yet my ipod with "Vellai pookal "song of A.R.Rahman sir, calmed me down.The truck that I followed read"Danger-Class I -E type explosive".I overtook the truck with my eyes reading-"Government of India-ISRO propellant".With the situation I was in,I thought that the vehicle could blew up anytime from then on.Since deserted roads were always always a favourite spot for law breakers,I surpassed the explosive vehicle with hawk eye speed.

Soft Spot:

As my five senses were busy with the"one down-four up" gear pattern of my bike,my sixth sense was analysing the situation .I reached the climax spot then.With two mammoths guarding,the war ground was filled with exhilarated audience.I was able to see the dust filling the air with the warmth of blood.The combat was neither between two people nor any  group.It was like each man fighting himself.Yes,it was the entire race of human all by itself trying to get their counter part outside.A fight club movie unfolded before me,except there was no Tyler Durden. Minutes later ,I saw familiar faces -my friends,my X-Y neighbour,the famous heads of existing "higher society run-ups".All were there tearing themselves apart.Totally confused.

Co-exist Maniac in Evolution:

I've always had this split personality existing within me(but I am very much aware of them-existing).Well,I call them 'Ram' and 'Shri'.Both are extremist of nature except that "Ram-the professional" sticks to logic whereas "Shri-the desired" follows his heart.[I am now writing in a quasi-existing state].So,now onto the battle ground."Take on some time to analyse what really is happening"-said my mind voices in an unified tone.

              Yes,this was what was happening.The combat was not between two humans but between (for) a single human.The very basic theory," Good vs Evil ".Half or even the whole world was undergoing this state of war.I had heard people saying that the time had come for earth to be recreated.The human lives would end up and new lives would appear.Maybe,the battle I visualised could be considered the beginning of this process.

      Because,when a war comes,eventually it would end(!) with the defeated side no longer able to gain the prior seat.So,then if the nature of war was thus,then it would be either the devil sitting on the throne or the angel spreading her smiles across.I personally thought that this war was good and wished that the angel inside each man be crowned with beauty and the earth thus be recreated.But.....

  NO...this human war still continues and unfortunately I have become a part it too trying to judge the side where I want to stand....Battle continues

  "Each man,necessarily goes through a battle within;   For then,he be born a legend or be tamper as a leaf;   Judged by the minutes he stand for his true cause..."-Shriram