MINDLESS THOUGHTS

The winter chill holds the spine by fearful cold.When mind wanders more it takes the voice of the ghost and it is the right time for her to convey her thoughts.The midnight clock peep fades away with the dozing of the road side workers but Kiran is awake and that is what Ruchika wants.

Ruchika speaks,

"I am attracted strangely to your room arrangements.Minute details deliver your subtle solitude.Come'on Kiran, let's go for a walk"

"Stop it Ruchika...you don't exist.You are my mind voice and you freak me out at times."Kiran yelled with his larynx restricted base voice.

"Ah...you need me kitty boy.You know you enjoy my company.Don't you?..Get used to my presence.."

"Ruchika..please understand..you don't exist and stop talking to me like that.I don't love you and I don't need you in my mind.."

"There you said it.'LOVE YOU'..big words from the hard hearted robot.You are way different than what others think what you are Kiran.Remember I always am there and you can do anything with me(!).."Ruchika grinned.

She was elegant in her appearance and the most beautiful face attracted more attention than any irrespective of her floating in the air.Kiran saw her first when he was 22 years old and now he is 25 and she almost visits him every day .When Kiran understood that this was his imagination and enjoyed her presence in mind he came to know that Ruchika died in an accident an year ago.Then how possibly can she visit him after death.But yet she does and he is intricately thoughtful about this.These thoughts ran through his mind when Ruchika said 'can do anything'.

"Oye..Mr.Romeo,your mind palace is transparent to me.I am real and I do exist.Don't think too much like the way you write your blogs.."Ruchika said.

"You read my blogs!!" Kiran was awestruck and was not able to comprehend what actually was happening.

"Ya..Get some fancy thinking Kitty,you write stuff like you are the noblest and the absolute upholder of philosophical thoughts.I am bored by reading your blog.And by the way I won't be available tomorrow.Good night and sleep tight" Ruchika kissed Kiran on the forehead and appeared fast asleep in the bed next to Kiran.

Kiran wondered what exactly was happening.She really was lying beside him and her physical presence was felt when she kissed him.But this can't be real.He didn't even knew her in person and she is long dead.But yet she is here.He considered it again to be imagination and went to sleep with a mild fear creeping over his mental process.

NEXT DAY..AT OFFICE..

"What?? She reads your blog!!!??" Shashank asked with his face dropped with a jerking surprise.

"Dude..out of all that I told you,you noticed only that?? She is dead bro...How can she be in my room at nights??" Kiran yelled with impatient anger.

"One sec..one sec...she really reads your blog??? Dude,then definitely this is your mind voice.No normal being would show interest in your topics of writing.I bet this is yet another imagination.Forget it and get back to work" Shashank's reply was soothing to Kiran.

"Hey Shash,get me Dr.Niranjan's appointment man.My exams are fast approaching and I cannot spend time with this imaginary girl.I am rational enough not to get screwed by some estranged thoughts of mine"

"Sure.Tonight at seven.I will inform him.Give him a call before you start"

THE PYSCHIATRIS(X)T:

"Kiran,you are perfectly normal..This is just the "butterfly effect" of your earlier watched movie or the novel you read"Dr.Niranjan assured Kiran about his rationality.

"But Doc,I am fully aware of the "butterfly effect "in the chaos theory and I can be sure that her physical presence was clearly felt.This is not the first time Doc,I have been in conversation with Ruchika for two years since now."

"This is what I briefed.The "parabolic effect" or overthinking of assumed facts may result in form of a nuanced real living entity.If you are still not satisfied and consider what you say is true,get that girl here tomorrow.Let's see.But for now take these tablets before you sleep"Dr.Niranjan had his say and closed his clinic with Kiran being the last patient.

THE DEATH KNELL:

Six months passed and there was no improvement.Ruchika visited Kiran's house frequently and sometimes they cuddled together.The tablets did have the placebo effect as she was less frequent in her visits and Kiran was able to manage both his studies and her presence till late night.

"All the best Kiran.Tomorrow is your exam and this is your ambition.Do well.I will be with you.Sleep now.We will meet the day after."Ruchika kissed Kiran but this was a passionate one and she was long gone then.

Kiran was well prepared but yet a sense of confusion prevailed over his friend  who frequented his house.His mom wished him good luck.But fate had its turn and his performance was not upto the mark and he by heart knew that this wasn't his better attempt.

The results as expected failed to display his register number on the list and the devastated Kiran had his extreme thought process tearing him apart.He considered himself worthless of living.His imaginary girl,Ruchika too has long gone.

"Hi,Kitty..look what you have done to yourself"Ruchika said with an annoying face.

"Where have you been? You were like gone forever and now you return with a concerned face?!! Go to hell."the already devastated Kiran threw the glass over her.

"Hell...there's where from I am.You accepted me into your life and when not needed I wasn't there.I am real Kiran,what isn't is you.You assumed me to be imaginary."Ruchika exuded her voice and her face was no longer beautiful.It was drained red.

"Ruchika...I don't understand.You are my mind voice and you don't exist until I think about you."

"Rightly said.'Until you think about me'..Hah..is that possible until we both are alive?!!"

"You want me to kill you???"

"Sick...You are a failure Kitty.You are an ultimate failure..You are not able to comprehend things..take granted the real for imaginary and punish the imaginary for real.You do a job that you don't like and appear smart when you are not.I am possibly the only girl who had entered your life and now you say you are going to kill me too...You are failure Kiran.A failure.."

"Stop that.I know I am a failure and worthless living.But you are not even real.I can prove you that."Men who are devastated with the massive failures fall easy prey to provoking emotions and Kiran was no exception when he yelled at Ruchika.

"Prove what?? I am imaginary??By what Killing me ?? What then??"Ruchika replied with a cool attitude 

"Why you?? I kill myself and then you no longer can exist.I am no fool Ruchika,I know the power of you dancing within my head."Kiran cried loud when Ruchika was grinning at Kiran's fools play.

The higher elevated roof of Kiran's room was an apt fixation for the string to be tied.He had no second thoughts and with his height he easily reached the roof and string was hanging vertically to carry his 95 kg body.He also placed his phone in such a manner that his idea of proving his rational view point be recorded with his 'to be ' performed gruesome act.

"Are you sure of doing this??You die and how do you prove that I am imaginary"Ruchika smiled with the wicked tone knowing that she actually is playing with his thoughts.

"It's pretty simple Ruchika.I just wake up and put this entire scene in my blog and let people decide"Kiran chuckled and woke up closing his diary carrying the story titled "Mindless Thoughts" and went to sleep after updating his blog.

"Wait for the devil

And there it comes;

Dressed in beauty

But grey in heart;

Hear not its voices,

For harm it does .

And no longer does it exist,

Paid when no heed.

The calm and clever men avoid,

Its demand  for attention ,

While the wise and witty,

Wear their pleasure by,

Thoughtfully writing it down"